I look back and think of high school. Back then I was attracted to a lot of girls, but I never built up the courage to ask them out. And if by some miracle one of them flirted with me, I would doubt myself and think they were making fun of me. I wasn't a stalker or a creep, but if I saw someone I was attracted to, I would glance at them from time to time. I couldn't make many friendships, just passing acquaintances that I eventually lost contact with once the semester ended or they totally ignored me afterwords. But I had good times as well, of the few friendships I made, they were truly great friends. Most of the new friends I made, I met in the marching band. To guard their privacy, I have decided to not name anyone in my ramblings unless I get permission from them. Another group that I made friendships that I treasure in was the Boy Scouts of America, Troop 1325.
Sometimes when I feel depressed, I try texting or writing messages on peoples facebook accounts to convince myself that people care that I live.... wow that didn't sound suicidal. But worry not, I have never even considered killing myself. But anyway, i try to talk to people when I'm feeling depressed to try to bring my happiness back. During a lunch break in the band room in high school, I was once told that if I wasn't smiling, that he would feel sad as well. Apparently I was always smiling and that helped some people?
Anyway I think I have talked about this enough so if you have any thoughts about this, feel free to comment
One of the best bean, jalapeno, and avocado tacos I have ever had (Hwy 6 between Alvin and Manvel) makes me happy every time I think about it
ReplyDeleteI don't think you are alone in feeling this way. I have had these same feelings & experiences in my life. If you can believe it, I was deathly shy every time we moved to a new location. I wasted a lot of time hoping someone would want to be my friend or fantasizing about being apart of certain social circles, but the best thing you can do is LIVE your life & find purpose in serving or working. As you are more active through work, church, school or hobbies you can develop great friendships. It takes time & effort, but I know you can do it!
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