Tuesday, April 26, 2011


I often wonder what the future holds for me. I have never had a girlfriend before, mostly because I have low self-esteem and have few experience asking someone out. I continuously dream about what it would be like to have a girlfriend. I hope to someday marry a beautiful woman close to my age and eventually have a daughter to spoil. Unfortunately to accomplish this I need to return to college and get a degree, and to do that I need to get a job to pay for classes and supplies. I used to be in college but I was just floating by, not knowing what to do. After living with my sister and brother-in-law, I have decided to try becoming a history teacher. 

When I think about the future, I see myself in a black room, because I don't know what the future holds, I have trouble seeing the reward or consequences of the choices I make. Its the unknown that is in the future that I try to figure out. Sometimes I see glimpses of a future, a beautiful wife, an adorable daughter, a strong son. A single family home with a forest behind that stretches for miles and mountain ranges in the distance. The nearest neighbor is a mile or more away. Friends who visit daily or talk with me daily. A dog or two.

I know to figure out my future, I just need to take a step forward. But its that first step that is always the hardest

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