Sunday, June 12, 2011

Visions Haunt Me Through the Night

Periodically I have these dreams when I sleep that I am convinced are visions of the future. For example, when my mother still owned a blue mini van with only one sliding door, I had a dream that my mom had a golden mini van with both side door slider things. Shortly after that, my mother came home with the exact thing I dreamed about. Another example was of my brother running around with a white four legged bundle of fur, and thew next thing I know, he had got a dog named Skye. Recently I had a dream that involved my sister and a baby. I am not sure of the gender, but I remember carrying it around and laying it down in a crib. I think there were male motifs, but that could just be my brother-in-laws wishful thinking for all I know.

There are also dreams I have that are really nightmares, consistently they are of me being homeless, or of me at a funeral and not caring about the person who had died. Now the latter part is more likely because I try to keep people at arms length so I don't get close to them. A fine example of this method of mine is made obvious at the deaths of all of my grandparents. When I heard about them passing, I was surprised for sure, but I wasn't sad. In fact I didn't feel anything, although that does worry me, I am a little happy that I had no reaction, none of the stages of grief effected me. I wasn't sad, angry, in denial, nor was I trying to make a deal  to change it. All that happened was for me to accept that death happens and I moved on with my life.

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