Thursday, November 17, 2011

Over Thinking

I am writing this earlier because I have to work today. I sometimes think that I over think some things, like did I remember that time right, or did I remember do do such and such? It is annoying because it drives me nuts until I find out if I did the right thing. Lately I have been thinking about work whenever I have a quiet moment, which since I have been reading more and playing video games less (no I still like to play video games mom and dad) my quiet moments have increased. Thus, I have been over thinking things, work most recently, and I get stressed out. I have been told that its all in my head and that I will be fine, work hard and it will get better, fake it till you make it, but like I said last time, talk is cheap. Just saying things wont make it better, I need to realize myself that things will be fine, that they will get easier, that I can make it. I know this is sounding selfish and rude, and I apologize in advance, but every time someone tells me something, it does not really help me feel better. Look at this right now, I just over thought the consequences and I will probably loose sleep about other things because I am always thinking about things. I have not gotten a decent nights sleep without the aide of sleeping medication (herbal suppliments, nothing that will mess me up of course) in well over three months, and I still wake up periodically throughout the night. All this lack of sleep I believe can be attributed to me thinking about things excessively and worrying because of the excessive thoughts. I thank all that is holy that I do not consider taking illigal drugs or doing different forms of self destruction because that is goes against my morals. I just wanted to reiterate that statement because I fear that I have become self destructive sounding lately, and I just want to put it out there that I am not self destructive. Now back to what I was talking about, when I ran this topic by my mother earlier today, she told me that everyone over thinks and that it is normal. Yes, I belive that to be true, but that does not help me stop doing that, I was told yesturday by my brother that there is no strategy guide to life. I realize that also is true, but it doesn't make me wish for one any less than I do. He then went on to tell me that if I needed to I could talk to him, which I thank him for saying to me, no I need to get ready to go and my head is acheing from all this over thinking.

1 comment:

  1. Will,
    I first want to tell you that I am very proud of you for getting a job. I am sorry to see that it is causing you stress. I believe that the desire to do a good job and be successful in that is a good thing, so focus on that part of it. The stress is a distraction from your successful performance. I also wanted to share with you that I have experienced what I guess could be called panic attacks in my life. Thankfully not very often, but when they happened, they were very real and were a strong physical reaction to circumstances that I did not like. The only thing that enabled me to "get through" those times (and other not as extreme times) is my relatinship with Jesus Christ. Because of my belief in Him and the resource of encouragement in His Word, I can look at these times as temporary. I can look at what seems like (at the time) a never ending negative circumstances through the loving eyes of our God of Grace who assures me of His love through anything like it says in Romans 8:38-39, "For I am persuaded that neither death nor life, nor angels nor principalities nor powers, nor things present nor things to come, nor height nor depth, nor any other created thing, shall be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord." And it says in Col 3:2 that we should "set your mind on thing above, not on things on this earth" Those two verses alone can help me keep things in the perspective of God's eternal purpose for my life, and it makes my circumstance seem small and very temporary. I will continue to pray for you Will, specifically, I will pray "be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God, and the peaace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds, through Christ Jesus.
    Love to you,
    Aunt Priscilla