Tuesday, February 14, 2012

Valentines day

Today people will celebrate the annual celebration of love, otherwise known as Valentines Day. The day where everyone buys gifts for their loved ones, goes on dates, or simple spending time with the one you love. To be honest I don't see what the big deal is, I have never had a reason to celebrate it, and yes I know, its something I would get if I had a reason to, but as of now I don't much care to celebrate it, it just shows that another year has passed that I failed to have a valentine. I understand the purpose of celebrating it, don't get me wrong, love is a wonderful thing, at least from all the books I have read or movies I have seen where it is involved has lead me to believe. I cant really describe it in words, but I have this hole in myself that I feel can only be filled by someone else. I watch couple who are in love....that didn't sound right...oh well... and I see that they are truly happy. They hold hands, are always smiling, share those small looks when they think no one is watching. Don't get me wrong, I'm not a creep, I just sometimes people watch when I am bored and I observe a lot of things. I believe that happiness and love are two sides of the same coin, there isn't one without the other, do you know what I mean? I don't think everything is in rose tinted glasses, good heavens no, I just believe that if one is truly in love, everything just seems a little bit better.

Ok, time for my frustrations to vent, I am just so frustrated that I haven't had a girlfriend to celebrate Valentines day with. All my friends are out there celebrating it and I am sitting in my house feeling sorry for myself. I need to get out there but the fear of the rejection and unknown is just so paralyzing. I have had my fair share of romantic interests in the past, but because I am such a coward, nothing ever happened with them. I was so stuck in my self destruction that I don't even know if I missed a chance. I wish I knew what to do but I don't. Obviously I am ruining a perfectly good holiday with my self destructive rants about a subject I have yet to experience, so I will end this here and wish every one a happy Valentines Day

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