What is Love?

Now a days a lot of people say they are in love with someone. I ask them how they know and they never have an answer for me. I'll tell you what I think love is, it is when you think about someone all the time and you want them to be happy, by doing large or small things for them. Your heart races every time you talk to them, be it online or in person. You can not imagine being without them or even remember a time before you met them, they were always there. I dream of the day that I will feel this emotion, sometimes I do feel this but I just squash it down because I know the person I like is taken. I have said I liked a lot of people in the past but I truly don't know what to do. I have liked this person since ninth grade, but I was to afraid to approach her with my feelings until recently. We were on the swim team and marching band together  and those were the happiest times of my life. I would secretly glance at her all the time, when I was sure no one was looking. One day in ninth grade at a football game, a friend named Travis told me to go up to her and ask her out, apparently I was caught. I tried to work up the courage, but it failed me when I most needed it. He then swooped in and started dating her before I could try again. I wasn't mad, she seemed happy, so I wasn't mad. At least I thought I wasn't, now that I think back on it, I was really upset. Yet once again, I did nothing. Am I doomed to forever be alone? She probably right now is reading this and is thinking "oh will that's so sweet, but I have a boyfriend".

Excited

I am excited because there is someone I like who maybe might like me back. I met her almost a year ago and she is very pretty and is better than me at everything that I can think of without talking about how we met or where. So as to protect her privacy I wont give out too much information, or none at all in this case. I actually have been loosing sleep lately because I have been thinking about her. I am not complaining mind you, just stating a fact. This will be cut short, cause I lost my umm....uh...momentum i guess

The Alchemyst

The Alchemyst: The Secrets of the Immortal Nicholas Flamel, by Michael Scott is a wonderful book about adventure and magic. This book is the first in a series, about twins who stumble upon a fight between good and evil in an old bookshop that Josh Newman works at in San Fransisco, owned by an older man who turns out to be Nicholas Flamel. They then discover their ability to use magic and they begin to learn for Flamel. At first only Sophie can use magic and it causes a rift to appear in the twins relationship. After accidentally falling into the world of magic, Sophie and Josh Newman must run away on an adventure to save the world from the evil Doctor John Dee and the Dark Elders. Along the way they find out that there is real live magic and even more amazing is that they have the power to save or destroy the world.

Kiki's Delivery Service

Next in my collection of Miyazaki films is Kiki's Delivery Service. This movie is about a young bubbly girl who leaves home at thirteen to go on a journey to further her studies as a witch. At first she knows very little of the world but as the movie progresses she begins to experience it. According to the film, every young witch at thirteen has to spend a year away from home and find a town or city with no other witches to spend the year. So Kiki (pronounced key key), along with her guide cat Jiji (pronounced gee gee), fly off on an adventure and find a city on the ocean, a place she always dreamed of going to. At said city; which I believe is based on a pre-WW2 austrian city circa 1930's, but that is just my observation; she has to earn money by starting a delivery service. Where she flies on her broom, albeit sometimes not sucessfully, and delivers packages to coustomers. She came up with this buisness because it is revieled that she doesnt have a lot of talent/experience in the other forms of witchcraft, like potion making and fortune telling. She also works part time at a bakery owned by a couple, Osono and "the baker" that lets her stay with them. While spending her training year in the port city, she makes new friends in a flight obsessed boy named Tombo and an artist who lives on her own named Ursula.

This Movie has a star studded cast that brings to life this movie. The leading role is played by a younger Kirsten Dunst, more famous for her role in the Spider man trilogy. Voicing Jiji is the wonderfully brilliant comidian Phil Hartman, whom the english translation was dedicated to for his untimely passing. The role of Osono is played by Tress MacNeille, famous for her voice roles in animation such as futurama, simpsons and various other roles, while "the baker" is voiced by Brad Garrett, more famous for his role as Robert Barone on Everybody Loves Raymond. Tombo is voiced by the surprisingly, in my opinion, Matthew Lawrence, whom is famous for his role as Jack on the tv sitcom, Boy meets World. Finally, Ursula is voiced by Janeane Galofalo, famous for her role as a regular on Saturday Night Live between 1994 aand 1995.

Time

What do you do with the time you have been given. I think about this question a lot when I am just sitting somewhere not doing anything. Do you know what I come up with? Nothing. I am doing nothing with my time now a days. I am stuck in a rut so to speak, where I do the same thing every day. Don't get me wrong, I do a lot of things, like talking to my friends from high school and from work, or playing video games, or working, or... you know what, I don't do much do I? This has just proved my point. I need to get out and do something, but I don't know what to do or where to go. Maybe I could start working out again, but then I would need motivation to continue. I could join an adult swim team I think, but then again I am not comfertable with how I look right now so that leads back to my lack of exersizing.  Does anyone have any suggestions as to what I can do in my free time?

What will I do?

It is kind of weird that I actually like someone. I have actually liked this person for some time, since I first met her in high school. Unfortunately I was stupid and never approached her, so now we are miles apart and it is unlikely that we would get together. She is beautiful beyond compare, with her red hair and her genuine smile, with her beautiful blue/green eyes and, may I say, attractive figure. Unfortunately she has recently lost her mother and has been pretty sad because of it, I sort of know what she is going through, with the loss of my grandparents. I most likely was not as close to them as she was with her mother. If I had the chance to meet her, I would probably thank her for raising such a beautiful and upstanding young woman. Until recently I was terrified of approaching her because she had a boyfriend, but I recently found out she was single again so I thought I would take a chance and try to approach her.

It has been a while

As you may have noticed, it has been quite a while since I last wrote a blog. I would like to apologize for this, but I had no motivation to do so, write a blog that is, not the apology, that is sincere. A few things have happened since I last wrote a blog, like me getting a promotion at my job, I am now called a "general clerk", which basically means I am their whipping boy or something now. If they need someone, whatever the task, they call on me now. Unfortunately its not much of an improvement though. I may have gotten a very slight pay raise, but its not really a lot. I am happy I received the raise though, it means something along the lines of being trusted more.....blah blah blah, I am still their b***h. Another thing that happened recently was my brother got a job here in Houston, so he has been living with us until he finds and moves into a new house. This means I, theoretically, see him more often. I say theoretically because I still do not see him that much, I mean in the past five years, I have seen his dog more than I have seen him. I understand that he is busy and such, so I do not expect to see him that often. One final thing that has happened is I have finally gone on dates, mind you there were two of them, with two different women, but they were still dates darn it. So now that I have gotten some experience, I feel more comfortable asking women out.

Letters to myself

Dear William,

You are a disgrace and a fool. You had so many opportunities given to you. You could be somewhere today like your brother and sister. You could have had a great job and a loving girlfriend by now but you were too afraid to do anything and look at you now! You still live with your parents. You are single and most likely wont get a girlfriend anytime soon. You are at the bottom rung of a grocery store job. Yeah you advanced A LITTLE, but did you really get that far? NO you didn't, you are just one step forward in a year, A YEAR. All your old friends live on their own now with well or decent paying jobs while you are still with your parents. You were so closed minded back in high school that you almost lost the chance at having great friends like Y and T. You stuck with your "clique" and paid no attention to others. You should have been friendlier with other people, but you were and still are afraid to step out of your comfort zone. GET YOUR ACT TOGETHER!!! Another thing, why are you so depressed? It's not like you have a reason to anymore. Yeah you moved, FIVE YEARS AGO!!! Get over it, you'll make new friends, just put yourself out there. Yeah your grandparents are all dead, but they are in a better place now and they wouldn't want you top be like this. So you feel like you let your parents down in every way ever since you got your eagle. YOU GOT YOUR EAGLE, I am sure your allowed a few let downs because of that. So you feel like because you question your faith, your ostrisized from your family. Big deal, they still love you. Bah....I can't talk to you right now.

Letters to you

Dear Whomever,

I like you. I have since I first met you in high school marching band. You were in the flags but I didn't care, you made them all better just by being there. At the time I was afraid to approach you and I sincerely regret it. I should have asked you out back then and I am kicking myself for it. Now I find out your single again and I hope you will let me in this time. I have found my courage and wish to ask you out. Unfortunately you told me you didn't want a relationship right now and we are so far apart. I wont give up because of this set back. I will try to become a better friend and when you are ready I will try asking you out again.

Letters to you

Dear Whomever,

If you are reading this, I do not mind. I just thought I would write to you to vent my feelings from my past. My past... makes me sound link an elderly man on my death bed trying to clear my conscious, does it not? Anyway, I decided this time to write to you because I was thinking about you for some reason, who knows maybe I like you? All joking aside, we were never really close when we went to school together, oh you were nice to me, do not get me wrong, but I always felt like I was beneath your notice. You were the popular cheerleader while I was the social outcast. You were the academic excellence and I was the loser who just made average. Recently you reached out to me and offered to email me, and this really threw me for a loop. What was this beautiful woman from my past doing writing to me? When you told me you thought I sounded lonely in my blogs, it actually made me happy that someone noticed and decided to do something about it. We traded some emails, you told me about your dog and boyfriend and I told you about my dog and work. Unfortunately I messed up and stopped writing to you. I am sorry. It is not because I got really busy with work or other things, it is because I figured you were getting tired of writing me or something like that and my low self esteem took over and I just never responded back. I am worried that I hurt your feelings. Now I sit here and write this, in the hopes that we can rekindle our friendship through emailing each other

Letters to you

Dear whom ever,

I am mad at you. We used to be the best of friends but that ended when I moved. Slowly we drifted apart, and this saddens me. I tried to remain in contact with you but you never responded. You probably changed you cell phone number and did not tell me. I try to get in contact with you through our friends but that road was a dead end. Please, I want us to remain friends but I can not reach you. I do not know what to do. You always inspired me to do better, you had the life I wanted. You had a girlfriend who loved you, you had a job you liked, you had better grades than me. You were better than me at the instrument we played together. You learned to drive before me and took pity on me and invited me to your weekly parties that you held at your house. The only thing I did better than you was the boy scouts, and that was just barely. Right now I have to ask people from back home how you are because that is the only way I find out about you. Did I do something wrong? I think about that every day. I have had dreams where you explain to me why you have not talked to me. It is not fair, we used to be friends, I considered you one of my best friends. Now I have no one that close, I have tried to make new friends, and I have had some success but it is not the same.

6/2/12

I figure you don't really care what time I woke up so I'll just describe my day. I read on the beach with my mother for about thirty to forty minutes, unfortunately it was a tad bit cold for my mother so we decided to go inside. Shortly there after, my mom, dad, and I went out to lunch, I cant remember where, I think it was a place called Mulligans. After lunch I asked my parents if we could go play mini gulf, and they said after dinner, which was made by my sisters father-in-law, and it was a German/Hungarian/Austrian, or what ever dish. After dinner, we actually went mini golfing with most of the people who were there and we all had fun.

6/1/12

Today I woke up at seven ten a.m. and played with my niece for a while. Later we, as in my sister and her family and my family, went out to dinner at a nice restaurant, the name of which I cant remember. Through out the day we all played on the beach and I spent a decent amount of time reading in my room. After dinner we took some pictures of us on the beach, and I held my niece for a short while until she started to cry.

5/31/12

Today I woke up at  six fifty-two a.m., yeah, I looked at my watch this time. We didnt do much today, we just went down to the beach and also grilled some dinner, hamburgers, hotdogs and chicken. We also celebrated my sisters brother-in-laws mothers birthday. we didnt do much because we were still flooded from the tropical depression/

5/30/12

Today I woke up around 7-8:30, this time I woke up because I was hungry. Eventually everyone woke up, just in time for a tropical depression to hit and flood the neighborhood. During a lull in the storm, my mother and I went out to a town called duck and did some shopping, one memorable store was "try my nuts" I kid you not. This store was a nut company that sells all sorts of nut merchandise. After this particular store we went to a store called "island bookstore" where I purchased a few books. On the way back we stopped to have lunch at a restaurant called "awful arthurs" where I had a beverage called "rum runner" and I had a meal that i forget its name, but it was a pasta dish with a creamy sauce and had shrimp and scallops in it. After lunch we went back to the house and I took a nap. We couldn't really do much else because the storm started up in earnest.

5/29/12

Today I woke up around six to six thirty in the morning and this time I slept through most of the night, although I did wake up occasionally. I finally got up  when I heard people upstairs, my niece, my parents, and my brother-in-law. I spent most of the morning upstairs until certain parties woke up, and then I spent as much time as I could handle said parties, and then I went to the pool and swam a bit.
SHE LAUGHED AND SMILED!!!! My niece laughed and smiled when I played with her today. When most of the group were down at the beach, I was playing with my niece and she smiled and laughed for me when there was no distractions. Later on some of us went to an ice cream shop/parlor thing called snowbirds, i had vanilla of course. Unfortunately we did nothing else that was terribly exciting, oh well, maybe tomorrow.

5/28/12

Today I woke up around five-five thirty a.m., and when I say woke up, I mean I decided to give up trying to sleep in a very hot room and on a different mattress. I spent most of the day so far in three or four different places, my room which is considerably cooler during the day for some reason, the pool which was fun as always and kinda cold today, the beach which was sandy as always but i didn't go in the water this time, and finally in the kitchen which is pretty much obvious what I did there. I continued to try to play with my niece but as usual she wasn't having that. I was told recently that if the weather was nice, we might go play mini golf tomorrow. Oh yeah, earlier a fairly small thunderstorm came through so I sat outside  for a spell and listened to the rain and thunder.

5/27/12

Today was another day spent traveling, this time to the Outer Banks, North Carolina, where we'll be staying in a beach house. This morning though was the first time I played with my niece and held her. She cried when I tried to hold her, so I immediately gave her back to my sister. That kinda made me upset but tomorrow is another day to try. I helped pack the cars while everyone was busy with everything....or did I mop the floors instead? I cant remember which one I did. It was probably the floor moping now that I think about it. Now we just have to wait for my sisters in laws to arrive so we can then leave.
We are now here at the beach house, where we arrived at around three p.m. After unloading the cars, most of us went down to the beach where I proceeded to be the first one to get into the freezing cold ocean, did I mention it was freezing? After spending some time in the ocean, I decided to head to the pool, where the water turned out to be considerably warmer. I spent about half an hour to an hour in the pool, and at some point my mother showed up to keep me company.
All in all it was a relatively nice day at the beach, when spending time with the family and their family (lets see, my sisters in-laws, her sister-in-law and her family, her brother-in-laws mom and sister). I hope the rest of the days will be just as good or even better.

North Carolina Vacation 5/26/12

For the next couple of days, I will be spending my time in North Carolina, while visiting my sister, niece, and brother-in-law. On the first day, my father and I flew on a plane to Raleigh/Durham, my mother had driven up the week before. When we finally got to my sisters home, my niece was asleep and my sister was at work, or on her way home. So we just visited with my brother-in-law for a while until my sister got home and my niece woke up. When my niece did wake up, it was the first time i had ever seen her outside of pictures. Meeting her was amazing, it felt so surreal to see my sister with a child. I mean I was there during the prenatal part, or at least part of it, but seeing her now just made me feel weird, I now felt like an uncle. There she was, my first ever niece, with her curly hair and blue eyes. I can now say I am happy to have a niece, not that I wasn't happy before, I had just never met her. Later on we all went to a pizza restaurant names Anna Marias, where we met up with my brother-in-laws parents. This restaurant had amazing pizza and stromboli (basically a pizza folded over, like a sandwich). This was how I spent the first day of my vacation.

Julie Anna

Excitement fills me
My niece I have yet to to see
A girl born ten months past
The joy she brings shall ever last
Julie Anna I long to meet
To finally see her shall be a treat